Beginning Monday I will present the awards via this blog, in clusters, a few at a time. The entire grueling process will take four days. This year we will have fewer awards, because of our poor play, and because of a lack of participation as a whole. Last season, every player received an award. That will not happen this year.

You may wonder, or you may not, just how I come up with these awards, and why me, since I am such a horrible coach and a hack of a softball player. Well, this is how I come up with the awards…

I smoke two blunts. I look over the statistics from this past season. I smoke two more blunts. I read through the game summaries, looking for nuances that are not reflected in the statistics. Two blunts. Inning-by-inning summaries. Just how many runners did he leave on base? Bases-loaded, two outs, last inning of the final game of the season. Two blunts more. Last season’s stats. Who has improved; who has gotten worse. And who’s aging before our eyes. Pick up more blunt wrappers at the Pay-n-Save… Dutch Master. I review the leader board. Who’s better than who. Who worked the hardest. Who slumped; who streaked. I roll and smoke two blunts. Then sleep. Then write the column. (And that is how it happens. No more questions.)

Until Monday…