And finally…

Most Improved Player: Brooks Ramsdell
The West Side captain batted .517 (up from .333 last season), good for third on the team. Brooks also finished third with a .639 contribution percentage. On top of that, Brooks’ defensive play in the field, at second and on the mound, exceeded his already-elevated expectations.

Top Offensive Player: Jeff Wisniewski
The “opie” was easy to decide when you see Jeff’s offensive numbers. Jeff finished the season with a .605 batting average (second on the team), .634 on-base percentage (first) and .805 contribution percentage (second). Jeff also led the team in hits and tied for the team-high in runs scored and doubles.

Top Defensive Player: Chris Leo
Chris excelled in the outfield, making several tremendous plays, and easily earns the “dopie.” Although Chris only earned defensive player of the game honors once, it was the everyday small things that made Chris an anchor of the defense.

Most Outstanding Player: Tim Evans
This one was easy. Tim led the team in triples, batting average, slugging percentage, the RLS and TRP. If there was a triple crown winner, Tim was it. Tim was also second on the team in hits, despite missing four games. The “softball Jesus” also played solid in the outfield.

Brooks, Jeff, Chris and Tim… we salute you.

More awards…

Copper Gloves: Tim Evans, Brooks Ramsdell, Jeff Wisniewski
Copper Gloves, the Red-Legged Superbas version of the Gold Glove awards, are awarded to up to two outfielders, two infielders and an additional player from any position that exhibited “defensive brilliance” during the course of the season. The Superbas may not have scored many runs, but their defense at times was stellar, thanks to these guys. Brooks and Jeff played solid up-the-middle and Tim carried his own in the outfield. These three did their best to keep the Superbas within striking distance, and it showed. Bravo.

Tim, Brooks and Jeff… we salute you.

Continuing on…

Surprise Player: Joe Gray
Joe quietly contributed 7 runs scored and 6 runs batted-in, resulting in a total run production index of .361. That’s pretty darn good.

Biggest Disappointment: Andy Orr
This award, nicknamed the “Maximoo Award,” is the most difficult to hand out. But it has to be done (for parity sake). Andy was last year’s top offensive player; this season, not so much. Andy batted .429 with a .522 contribution percentage — pretty good numbers, but not stellar for the East Side captain. Andy’s defensive play also deteriorated this season. Andy has openly acknowledged his season-long slump, the first step in rehabilitation.

Rutherford B. Hayes Award For Excellence In The Field Of Unadulterated Support: Eric’s improved choice in livestock
First, a little background information on Mr. Hayes. Hayes was born and raised in the state of Ohio before becoming governor and was only one of four U.S. presidents to have won the Oval Office without winning the popular election. (J.Q. Adams, Benjamin Harrison and sitting-president G.W. Bush are the other three.) Hayes promised to only serve one term and that he did. Hayes was also the first sitting president to visit the west coast. But on to Eric’s improved choice in livestock. You may remember her name; I don’t. But she was there for almost every game, rooting for the Superbas to at least tie.

Joe, Andy and Eric’s improved choice in livestock… we salute you.

Well, here goes…

East Side Player of the Year: Dyelan Grace
Dyelan captures the “what if” theorem perfectly for this past season. Before his catastrophic injury, D-Grace had a .667 batting average, 1.133 contribution percentage and .733 total run production index. Despite missing seven games, D-Grace still led the team in home runs.

West Side Player of the Year: Jesus Espinoza
Jesus plays softball with the subtlety and gracefulness that embodies the West Side. Jesus batted .440 this season, with a .552 contribution percentage, and played well defensively in the outfield.

Comeback Player: Eric Grace
Eric won this award last year, as he came off of a debilitating arm injury. This season, with the gruesome pain of last season’s injury still an all-too-real nightmare, Grace continued his comeback with a .429 batting average, .629 contribution percentage and .514 total run production index. Grace graced the batting leader boards all season, and tied for the team high in runs scored (and tied his brother’s mark with two home runs).

Ironman: Mike Atiyeh
Playing every day is essential when it comes to success for the Red-Legged Superbas, and Mike’s strength and determination is a big part of that. Too bad we were hugely unsuccessful, although that had nothing to do with Mike’s play. Mike picked up his defensive play the second-half of the season and was third on the team in runs batted-in and tied for the team high in doubles.

Dyelan, Jesus, Eric and Mike… we salute you.

Beginning Monday I will present the awards via this blog, in clusters, a few at a time. The entire grueling process will take four days. This year we will have fewer awards, because of our poor play, and because of a lack of participation as a whole. Last season, every player received an award. That will not happen this year.

You may wonder, or you may not, just how I come up with these awards, and why me, since I am such a horrible coach and a hack of a softball player. Well, this is how I come up with the awards…

I smoke two blunts. I look over the statistics from this past season. I smoke two more blunts. I read through the game summaries, looking for nuances that are not reflected in the statistics. Two blunts. Inning-by-inning summaries. Just how many runners did he leave on base? Bases-loaded, two outs, last inning of the final game of the season. Two blunts more. Last season’s stats. Who has improved; who has gotten worse. And who’s aging before our eyes. Pick up more blunt wrappers at the Pay-n-Save… Dutch Master. I review the leader board. Who’s better than who. Who worked the hardest. Who slumped; who streaked. I roll and smoke two blunts. Then sleep. Then write the column. (And that is how it happens. No more questions.)

Until Monday…

As of August 7, 2007

The following players have outstanding debts…

Current
Joe Gray – $25
Adams* – $10
Dyelan Grace – $10
Jesus Espinoza – $10
Andy Orr – $10
Eric Grace – $10
Brooks Ramsdell – $10

Past Due
Joe Gray – $20
Jesus Espinoza – $15
Andrew Orr – $15
Jason Bariel – $10
Kevin Ghalambor – $10
Wright Cole – $10

Money requests were sent via PayPal. Don’t be a jerk, please make payment by the end of August. These funds will go towards the summer banquet. If you would rather send a personal check, please contact me.

As of August 13, 2007

The following players have outstanding debts…

Current
Joe Gray – $25
Adams* – $10
Dyelan Grace – $10
Andy Orr – $10

Past Due
Joe Gray – $20
Andrew Orr – $15
Jason Bariel – $10
Kevin Ghalambor – $10
Wright Cole – $10

Money requests were sent via PayPal. Don’t be a jerk, please make payment by the end of August. These funds will go towards the summer banquet. If you would rather send a personal check, please contact me.

As of August 20, 2007

The following players have outstanding debts…

Current
Adams* – $10
Dyelan Grace – $10
Andy Orr – $10

Past Due
Andrew Orr – $15
Jason Bariel – $10
Kevin Ghalambor – $10
Wright Cole – $10

Money requests were sent via PayPal. Don’t be a jerk, please make payment by the end of August. These funds will go towards the summer banquet. If you would rather send a personal check, please contact me.

As of August 31, 2007

The following players have outstanding debts…

Current
Adams* – $10
Dyelan Grace – $10

Past Due
Jason Bariel – $10
Kevin Ghalambor – $10
Wright Cole – $10

Money requests were sent via PayPal. Don’t be a jerk, please make payment by the end of August. These funds will go towards the summer banquet. If you would rather send a personal check, please contact me.